She’s way out of my league but wants me. Should I be worried?


Throwawayraisedonger asks:
I have the whole package: Ugly, short, charisma of a stone and I have yet to finish an education. So basically this beautiful girl (19/F) insists on being with me all the time, I really like her but she is WAY out of my league. Rich, drop dead gorgeous and really fun to hang out with. But yet she stills insists on being with ME! Me out of all people. Why? There has to be a catch or something. I don’t even know what the problem is but this seems really suspicious. Plenty of good-looking guys here, not to mention they would most likely match her needs better than me. This may sound like self-pity, not intended, but self-pity won’t get me anywhere will it?

TL:DR Terrific girl with everything wants to be with me for some reason. Should I be worried or go with it?

Demetrius says:

Do you think a shrimp understands the magnitude of the ocean? Do you think that a capybara can comprehend the utter size of the Amazon Rainforest? Do NYC Subway Rats know that they live in one of the largest and most used subway systems in the world? I ask all these things because I want to ask you…how do you know you’re not a catch?

Maybe you’re only seeing the forest for the trees? People tend to forget that being a catch is pretty subjective. This beautiful, rich girl who is drop dead gorgeous might be a catch to you, but she would not be a catch for me. Mainly because I really don’t want to date anyone who is closer in age to my niece than they are to me. I’m sure she’s very pretty and rich, but there are plenty of people who are pretty and rich and fun to hang out with that dozens of people would not think were a catch. Your concept of whether or not someone is a catch is skewed toward the physical and financial, but what if being a catch was more than that? What if some people are catches because of the way they make other people feel?

Let’s say you are short, and less than handsome, fine. That’s cool and all but so is Jason Statham. I mean yeah, dude is super fit and rich, but he’s also short, and not traditionally handsome and he’s engaged to The Splendid Angharad who is drop dead gorgeous, much younger than him, and has access to richer, more succesful men if she decided he wasn’t in her league. Sure, Statham would be a catch to many people, but to many different people he would not be a catch. Being a catch is relative, and whether you think you are one or not is irrelevant because this girl is into you. Maybe you just make her feel the way no man has ever made her feel, and it might be as simple as making her feel appreciated. If you’re looking for warning signs, which you don’t mention, some tell-tale ones would be her attempting to take advantage of you and your kindness. Asking to borrow cash, or to act as an unofficial chauffeur, or if she only wants to hangout with you to talk about her dating problems, those would be warning signs. Unless you get the vibe that she’s hanging out with you to take advantage of you, which I doubt, she might just enjoy your company.

Some people just want to be around people who appreciate them, and maybe that’s what she gets from you. There are rich and attractive men she can talk to if she wanted to, but maybe she’s not as special to them as she is to you. Yeah you’re short, but you clearly adore her. Yes, you might be ugly (which is subjective) but maybe the way that you look at her makes you beautiful to her. I also doubt that you lack charisma, based solely on the way you write. You seem pretty good at charm through self-effacing humor, so I think you might be selling yourself short.

Sometimes you just need to trust that people know what they want. If she’s showing interest, and you’re not noticing any red flags that she’s getting closer to you to take advantage of you, then just enjoy the ride. If she’s really as fun as she sounds, enjoy it and stop putting mental obstacles in the way. Sometimes you get what you deserve in life, whether you realize you deserve or not.

Good Luck Out There.

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