We’re going on a date but she isn’t responding to my texts. Why?

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throwaway_datingadvi asks:

Girl im going on date with isn’t responding to texts. She only reads them but doesn’t respond. She was responding yesterday, but not today. Why?

Why is she reading your texts but not responding? Because she’s cancelling your date by being a flake. A better reading of the situation is that the girl in this situation has decided to avoid you because she doesn’t want to go on the date with you, but also doesn’t want to be direct and tell you. Does that mean she wouldn’t want to go on another date in the future? Who knows! (Probably not) What does matter is that she is flaking on you right now and this date is definitely not happening. Plan accordingly.

I can’t say for certain why she flaked, but I can tell you why a lot of people flake.The best motivator and rewarder of flaky behavior is it’s convenience. How much effort does it take to send a text saying “Sorry, not interested in a date. Peace out”? A minimal amount to be sure, but how much effort does it take to just ignore a problem until it goes away? And how normalized is a lack of accountability in our society so flaking, or ghosting, are generally frowned upon but not an indicator that someone is a bad person? Pulling my own card a bit, I usually say that when people are shitty and you’re done with them, calling them out is pointless so maybe I’m part of the larger problem of accountability in dating. My point is, people flake because it’s a low effort/low risk move.  What’s the worst thing that happens to her if she’s flaky? You call her out and then….not much else if she chooses to ignore your text calling her out. It’s easy for her to flake, so she’s flaking. Simple as that.

On an unrelated note, I hate the fact that we have read receipts on texts now. Sure, it’s helpful to know if your text has been received, but the thing that bothers me is the anxiety and doubt knowing your texts have been read inspires. What I wouldn’t give to get the feeling of uncertainty of sending a text and having no clue if it was received or not. It’s just a given that when someone says “I just saw your text” it usually means “I saw your text earlier and I’m just responding now”. Here’s a secret about me though, I have my read receipts turned off, so you can’t tell if I read your text or not, but I can see whether or not people have read my texts. Who knows what that says about me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Anyway, she’s flaking in the lamest way possible.  Your date has been cancelled, whether you realize it or not and if you’re wondering why it’s because she’s a flake. Beyond that, just try not to dwell on her, or any other flakes you encounter in dating because they’re always going to be out there, avoiding your texts, making plans and then pulling out at the last-minute, and pretending like this is normal behavior.

Good Luck Out There.


5 thoughts on “We’re going on a date but she isn’t responding to my texts. Why?

  1. you are definitely not going out with you. It would be best for you to settle that thought in your mind. She wanted to be indirect which sucks but you missed and dodged a bullet


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