Good first date, then she ignored my text. What should I do?

pexels-photo (14)strayfox20 asks:

Alright, I had an awesome first date with a girl where it was just connection on all levels. I had a coffee with her and we just talked for hours. I really ended up liking this girl a ton and I left her with a hug and told her we should do it again sometime. I left feeling pretty confident and sure that I was going to ask about the 2nd date. I texted her afterwards saying I had a good time and we had a good little conversation and then when I asked her a simple question. (Just if she has to get up early for her job.) I got nothing back the whole night. Did I do something wrong? I obviously don’t want to text her or anything to appear desperate, what should I do?


Demetrius says:

You know, part of me thinks that either you’re not telling the whole story or you misread things.

For starters, are you sure, without a shadow of a doubt that you had a great first date, or just a good date that was neither bad nor good? Were you projecting your own attraction  onto someone who was being polite but not necessarily interested, or did you actually hit it off? Is it possible that as great as the date seemed, it wasn’t “great” so much as it was lacking all the things you’d think would happen on a “bad date”? I’m not saying that’s the case here, but that seems more likely then you hitting it off and her losing interest after a few texts. I think you either read the signs wrong, or you’re being a bit obtuse about what you texted and the frequency.

Or, and this is crazy, she just hasn’t gotten time to respond because she’s going on dates with other people. It’s been what, a whole night, not a whole week. Chill.

Regardless, I don’t think you did anything inherently wrong, but I can see how maybe you either misread the signs, or texted a lot more than you’ve let on. If you’re already thinking that she lost interest after not getting a text response after a few hours I could see how you could be the type of person who comes on way too strong. Or, you come on too strong without actually planning a second date, so it just seems unattractive. If you had an amazing first date, having full-blown text sessions without saying “I want to take you out again, when are you free?” could have turned her off.

All of these things are possibilities, and whether or not some or all of them are true doesn’t matter so much as what you do next. For starters, don’t text her again until she replies to you. If she’s still interested she’ll reply. If she lost interest, no amount of follow-up texts will matter. If she doesn’t reply, cut your losses and move on. If she does reply, plan the second date and save all those things you want to text message her about for your actual date. If you make it to the 2nd date and it goes well, ask her on a third date. Rinse and repeat until desired results.

Good Luck Out There.

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