How likely is my boyfriend’s Badoo account a fake?

night

Pineapples_Coconuts asks:

Found bf’s badoo account. I sent him the screen shot and asked him what it was all about as he told me once we became exclusive (back in July) that he had deleted all his online dating applications/websites. He told me he never heard of badoo before and was concerned about the info I shared with him. He downloaded the app on his phone and put the profile in question on hide and deleted the photos. I really want to believe him, but a few things stood out to me:

1) ok so you download the app to your phone…how were you able to log into to the account in question? These things need passwords right?

2) why not delete said account instead of just putting it on hide?

3 )a girl on fb he is friends with also has/had a Badoo account

Like I said I want to believe him, but it just seems like a lot of little red flags keep popping up. :-\ anyone ever have a fake account made from their fb profile pictures? How often do these types of things happen?

I feel like an idiot for believing, but at the same time I do love him. He had asked me to marry him and everything. We went to look at rings on a couple of different occasions. I flew out to the other side of the US to meet his mom for Christmas. Why would someone who wanted to do this go through all that trouble of trying to keep me around when they could easily have someone else? :-\


Demetrius says:

Ah man, AHHHH MAN. Part of me just wants to respond and say to send him a gif of Nicholas Fraser and call it a day but you know, that would be a cheat. First, let’s answer your question: It is very unlikely that your boyfriend’s profile is a fake. It’s definitely his profile, you caught him out there, and now he’s trying to cover his tracks.

I have to admire your skills at deduction in this situation ,since you’ve done most of my work for me. You found his profile, confronted him with evidence of said profile, followed up to see what his actions were post being discovered, and then started asking relevant, insightful questions. Are you sure you don’t write a dating advice blog?  Seriously though, all of the things you’ve done so far are good, it just sounds like you need someone to be straight up with you for the final push. I can’t say for sure whether or not he’s physically cheated on you, but he was definitely on Badoo and that definitely was not a fake profile.

It’s more likely that you’ll come across someone who is in a relationship, rather than a fake profile on most online dating sites. Why is that? Because most dating applications and websites use a thing called application programming interface for account creation. You know when you sign up for a dating app, or even a web site, and there’s a link that says “Connect with Facebook” or “Login with Facebook”, that’s because that website or app uses the Facebook API. It’s a great tool because it makes sign ups easy, a key feature of casual dating apps, but also makes it a bit harder to create fake profiles. In order to get a fake/scam profile on Tinder, which only allows users to create a profile if they have an existing Facebook profile, you first have to make a fake Facebook profile, which is a bit harder than just using a dummy email to create a profile on some other sites, like say Match.com or Ashley Madison. Fake profiles still exist on sites like Tinder,  but it’s more likely that the people you meet online are in a relationship.

Based on that fact alone I’d say the odds are like 96% that the profile you found was your boyfriend’s. The odds go up a bit when you consider that Facebook API thing in relation to your first sub-question. Badoo uses the Facebook API for easy sign up but you can also sign up with an email address. The Facebook API wouldn’t require a password, just that you’re logged into or can log into Facebook, and an email sign up would a password. So yeah, the fact that he could actually sign into this account means he either has the password, or it’s linked to his Facebook. Either way, it’s not a fake profile, because how could he get the password for a fake profile?

Why not delete said account instead of just hiding it? Beloved, you have to know what that means right? He’s waiting to reactivate it. Maybe it’ll be after he think he’s safe to try to join again, or when he ends things, but he’s just hedging his bets right now, that’s all. OkCupid has a feature where you essentially hide your account but don’t delete it, which I’ve used on multiple occasions when I was entering into a new dating thing but was unsure about where things could go. It sounds like he’s either doing that, or just trying to wait until he thinks he can safely cheat again.

The girl on Facebook who is one of his friends who also had/has a Badoo account? Meh, could be something, could be nothing, but it’s really not an indication about him. The most important thing here is that he’s clearly lying. If he had said “oops, I forgot to deactivate Badoo because it slipped my mind” sure, that would make sense. If he then deleted this profile instead of just deleting his pictures from the profile, sure, that’d be okay too. It sounds like more than anything that he got caught, is lying to you, and biding his time to reactivate the account.

I wouldn’t read too much into the things he did up until this point that indicate commitment. People can be married for years and have a whole other family on the side. They can introduce you to family and friends and have a side piece or side pieces who think they’re also his main partner. They can talk marriage in the very same week that they were laying in someone else’s bed. I can promise you that every single married person who cheats told their partner that they were the one, or that they loved them and would never cheat, and so on, ad nauseam.

If you’re feeling like an idiot for believing him, trust your gut, because it would be idiotic to believe this completely fake story given all the evidence. He’s lying, he’s cheating, and it’s time to leave him.

Good Luck Out There.

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