Does she like me?


LonglegBeast asks:

So there is this girl in my class, right? She is drop-dead gorgeous and I really like her. Well she is very outgoing with everyone else, but gets really, really shy around me. I’ve sincerely complimented a couple of times, without coming off creepy. She always blushes when I do. When I talk to her, she asks her own questions and gives me direct eye contact. She sort of smiles uncontrollably. But she never approaches me, I have to initiate everything. Sometimes she doesn’t acknowledge me. I feel like I am better than some of the dudes she talks to comfortably, mainly cause I’m a wide receiver on my football team, and these dudes don’t really do anything.

What should I do? Does she like me?

Demetrius says:

To answer your question simply, yes. It does sound like she’s interested in you. Welp, now that that’s settled we can both move on with our lives. Oh, you want me to explain myself? FINE.

All your points and signs that she might be into you are very good signs. As a rule of thumb, it’s always safe to assume that someone has some sort of feelings toward you, good or ill, if they change their normal behaviors around you. If you know someone is very talkative and outgoing but doesn’t seem to be that way around you, they definitely feel some type of way about you. In your case, it seems to be clear that she’s attracted to you. The fact that she blushes around you is pretty telling. If someone becomes quiet around you, it could be for any number of reasons. Blushing however, is a lot easier to narrow down. Blushing happens because of a response by your sympathetic nervous system to your “fight or flight” instincts. You get embarrassed, your body releases adrenaline which dilates your blood vessels which increases your blood flow and oxygen delivery. That dilation and increased blood flow makes your face blush. Chances are good she likes you, is embarrassed about her feelings and is scared of what saying something will mean, so she stops speaking when you enter a room and blushes. That alone is a very clear sign. If she’s confident around most people but becomes shy around you, there is no doubt in my mind that she’s into you.

Now, as to what you should do, that’s pretty simple. Ask her out. If you’re going to ask her out, don’t make it a spectacle. You already know she’s into you, and that her attraction to you makes her a bit uncomfortable. Asking her out in a group setting is only going to embarrass her, so go out of your way to ask her out in private. It doesn’t have to be some grand declaration, or even an invitation to start a relationship. All you have to do is say “Hey, would you like to go out together sometime?” and that’s that. Just be clear that it’s more romantic than platonic. Of course, I could be wrong and you might be misreading the situation, but I doubt it.

One quick break from the topic itself. I get where you’re coming from, and I get the statement but I have to say I’m not a fan of the whole of the I feel like I am better than some of the dudes she talks to comfortably” thing at the end of your question. You had me on your side until then. Assuming you’re in high school, or even college, I’ll avoid mocking you relentlessly, chalk up your misguided belief as a folly of youth, and just explain why that’s a shitty thing to say. For starters, while you might be more physically fit and athletic then some of these dudes, your participation in organized sports means exactly zilch when it comes to “doing something“. Participation on a football team is great for learning how to follow instructions, but it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything besides staying in shape and playing a child’s game. If some of those guys she talks to work out, and playing video games, I wouldn’t say you’re doing anything more or less then them. If you were volunteering at a soup-kitchen, or working a part-time job to support your family, then you could pull the whole “I’m better” but no, sorry, your recreation doesn’t make you better than anyone. You might be able to run a 40m dash, or bench press more, but that doesn’t make you a better person. Something to keep in mind for the future, not only because it’s just a good idea to not consider yourself “better” than anyone, but also because you aren’t going to be playing football forever. If you start dating this girl, finish your education and don’t go on to play football professionally, would you then be less of a person? Would she stop wanting to date you then? Of course not! Don’t tie your identity or your viability as a catch to a sport. Trust me on this.

In summary, yes she likes you, you should ask her out, and you’re definitely NOT BETTER than anyone because you play football. You might be a better match for her then those other guys she hangs around, but football has nothing to do with it.

Good Luck Out There.

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