She wants me to meet her mom before our first date. Good sign?

yangxcore asks:

I am 22 and she is 21. So I think something is starting to blossom between me and this girl. We are going to a show on Tuesday in NYC. We have only known each other for a month and it seems to be going well. We haven’t officially gone out together yet. We will be home by Wednesday morning. I am taking her 4 hrs away from home and she told me her mom will be coming to meet me tomorrow at my job. I am a bartender.

Is this a good sign? I am pretty nervous myself.

Demetrius says:

I’m sitting here, with the blankest of blank stairs, trying to figure out how, in any way shape or form, this is a good idea. My immediate thought was this is a bad idea, but I guess I’ll try to answer your actual question.

If you grew up in a small town, chances are that before you went on a date with a girl in high-school you had either already met her parents, or had to meet her parents before the date because you drove to their place to pick her up. If this is the case then meeting someone’s mom before your date might be the norm for you. You’re only 4 years removed from high school, so I could see this being your train of thought. From the mom’s perspective it makes sense as well. I’m guessing that the mom’s thinking is something along the lines of “I need to meet this boy you’re going on a date with if you’ll be away from home and spending the night out”. The thing is, maybe just maybe, you shouldn’t be trying to go on this trip as your first date.

Hear me out here. You haven’t actually been on a date with this girl and you want to travel with her for 4 hours to NYC to go see a show and spend the night in the city. That is very weird. I’m sorry but there has to be a better first date than “travel 4 hours to see a show with a relative stranger”. I actually don’t blame the mom for wanting to meet you. If some random guy was trying to take my daughter 4 hours away to the city on their first date, I’d have a ton of apprehension and would want to meet him too.

So to answer your question, depending on who you are it’s a good sign. She has the type of mom who is worried about her taking an overnight trip with a relative stranger to NYC. That’s a good mom, so that alone is a good sign. What isn’t a good sign is that her mom feels the need to meet you before a date. That was a sign that you needed to not have this road trip to NYC be your first date. You should make your first date the sort of first date that doesn’t involve a 24 hr commitment. This was bad date planning on either your part or the girl’s part. What if the date sucks? What if you don’t have chemistry? What if she realizes she’s not into you, or vice versa, now you’re stuck with her for an 8 hour road-trip, a show, and all the hours in-between that. The mother of this girl has good sense, but no one else in this situation does.

PRO TIP: First dates need to be something that requires minimal commitment, minimal effort, and NOT meeting parents.

Good Luck Out There.

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