Should I try online dating?

polaris5067 asks:

I’m 20 years old but i’ve never been in a relationship. I may have had an occasional interests here and there and went on “dates” but i’ve never actually had someone to call my boyfriend. Everyone around me tells me that I don’t need to use dating apps yet because i’m still young so I have plenty of chances to meet someone, but I feel like I don’t…

My co-workers at my job are mostly women and I’m not that involved in school since I’m so busy with jobs, I mostly just go to class and leave right after. I also feel like I never really have opportunities to meet new people but at the same time I don’t know if I should put myself out there in online dating when I don’t really have much experience to begin with.


Demetrius says:

Before we get into whether or not you should try online dating I want to tackle your misconception about “needing” to use dating apps or websites.

Here’s a little secret for you, no one in the existence of humankind has ever “needed” to use a dating app or website. People have been meeting other people, pairing up, and procreating for thousands of years. Dating apps and websites as we know them have been around for 20 years. Maybe at some point in the far-flung future there will be a “need” to use dating apps, but we are not at that point yet. Dating apps aren’t for a specific type of person, young or old, rich or poor, they are for meeting people. It’s the same way that meeting through friends, work, shared social groups or activities, religion, or matchmaking isn’t for a specific type of person. Dating apps are for everyone and almost every demographic group in the entire world uses dating apps if they have access to a cell phone or the internet. 66% of Americans have gone on a date with someone they met through online dating as of 2014. So no, you aren’t the type that “needs” a dating app because there isn’t a type. You don’t have to be any age besides over 18, you don’t have to be a certain level of physical attractiveness vs. unattractive, you don’t have to be a certain height, weight, religion, ethnicity, cool, geeky, or anything else. Your results will vary based on all the things I mentioned before, but dating apps are for everyone the same way that dating is for everyone.

Now that we’ve got that out-of-the-way, well, I’ve got some bad news. Sadly, I will not be able to tell you if you should try online dating with 100% certainty because you need to figure that out for yourself. I know, I know, I’m supposed to be a dating advice guy, not a answer-your-question-with-questions guy, but I’m pulling that card here today. Before we figure out if you should be dating online, answer these questions:

  • Are you available to date? (i.e. single or openly non-monogamous)
  • Are you ready to date?
  • Do you want to date?
  • Are you of legal age to date? (i.e. dating you would not pose a legal problem for someone over the age of 18)
  • Do you have a basic idea of what you’re looking for?
  • Do you think dating online is a good idea?

If you can answer Yes to all those questions you should date online. I’m so sorry that I put you through that grueling test, but it had to be done. In all seriousness, I think everyone should date online if they can say yes to all those questions, and for the most part, most single people I encounter can answer yes to all of those questions. Keep in mind that that online dating supplements traditional dating. It does not replace offline dating. Let me repeat that: Online dating does not replace offline dating. If you sign up for a dating app that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try to chat up that cute guy at the….umm malt shop? I don’t know where the youths under the drinking age hang out, but that sounds about right. Feel free to meet guys in person and online, being on a dating site isn’t going to stop that from happening. Don’t cut yourself off from any opportunities just because you sign up for a dating app.

Oh and if you need advice on how to get started, I already wrote about this WAY back in the early days of the Tao of Indifference. Go read “Ladies, Don’t Hesistate To Date Online“. Oh and read up on “What You Need To Know About Online Dating“. Trust me, that last post will definitely prepare you for what online dating is like for women.

It doesn’t matter how you meet someone, what matters is your connection and compatibility. So go for it, download an app, stay safe, and get out there and date.

Good Luck Out There.

3 thoughts on “Should I try online dating?

  1. Pingback: How do I get over my nerves about meeting someone from Tinder? | Tao of Indifference

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