How do I end a good date?

steamymeatmuffin asks:

This seems like a very trivial question to most, but for me, dates usually go fine until it’s time to decide on “what to do next” and I never get it right. I understand it might be situational as well, but I’m super awkward when it comes to “okay, let’s wrap it up”. Especially when being on a first date. I’m not the kind of guy that wants to invite the girl straight home and into my bed on the first date, but I also don’t wanna end it like it was a bad date. I usually enjoy sitting in the cafe or wherever but as soon as we realize we’ve been sitting there for hours just doing small talk, there is a point where it’s simply time to take action.

What I used to do was simply pay, be thankful for the date, mention how much fun I had, say that we should repeat it and then either accompany her to her bus stop or drive her home, but that’s about it. Is there something I could do/say at the end of a date to let her know that I really enjoyed the date and would love to meet her again without being creepy?

Demetrius says:

Sometimes I need to take a break from the tough questions and handle a nice and simple one. Everyone, including me, has advice for paying for dates, what to talk about on dates, what to wear, how to not screw up a date, how to cancel a date, but I’ve hardly ever seen advice on how to close out a good date. Well, that changes today. No need to apologize for asking because  it’s a great question!

Like most dating advice, the answer in your case is Communication. In your case, you want to communicate that you are interested, aren’t trying to rush into bed, and also want to make it clear that you thought that the date went well. How you do it will require a little bit of finesse. Your current method of ending dates is pretty good, but there are two very small improvements you can make. First, let me tell you why your method might not be working, then we’ll get into how to fix it.

It’s possible that you’re coming off as nice, but not necessarily into your dates romantically. Everything you described sounds “Nice” but not all that clear in your attraction. Maybe you’re just not naturally aggressive, maybe you like to take things slow, or whatever the case may be. More than anything else it sounds like you’re coming of as a good date, but not one that will lead to a romantic relationship. To stop going on good dates and to start going on great dates you’ll need to, as a mentioned earlier, work on your communication, both verbally and physically.

It seems as though you like to take things slow, so maybe you’re not all that big on kissing on the first date. If you are cool with kissing on a first date well then lean in for a goodbye kiss at the end of the date. Don’t try to force a kiss, just lean in. If that’s a little too aggressive for you, you can always ask for a kiss which will get you varying results (some woman find it attractive, some don’t, much like all parts of dating really). If you’re not comfortable with kissing, you need to figure out the level of physical contact that you feel comfortable with and go with that. A hug goodbye is a safe bet, a handshake, high-five, or a fist bump or not sexy. Trying to hold hands is a good one too.

Finally, the verbal communication. There isn’t much to do to improve upon your method since you’re pretty vocal if a date goes well, but I would add “I’d love to take you out on another date sometime soon” when you close your dates. Make it clear that not only was the date good, but you want another date. After that, make sure you follow-up with either a call or text with another date planned, and do so as soon as possible.

The most important thing to remember, even if you don’t take my advice to the letter, is that you want to close your dates by conveying not only that you had a good time, but also that you’re interested in another date.

Good Luck Out There.

2 thoughts on “How do I end a good date?

    • I really liked your latest post (and everything I’ve read so far) and your point at the beginning is a great point: “what you wear is important and never more so than for single guys/gals trying to manoeuvre their way around the Cape Town dating scene” I think it’s safe to say that advice applies to any dating scene

      Liked by 1 person

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