For some reason, all the planning and effort you put into first dates isn’t leading to 2nd dates. Why is that? What’s stopping you from going on a second date? It could be one of these five reasons:
1. You’re dishonest about your looks
It could be that you rounded up about your height, posted pictures from when you had a full head of hair, were very liberal in your interpretations of your body type, or lied about a fundamental aspect of how you look. Time for some tough love here: 5’8” is not 6’0” tall, if you’re losing your hair you need to own up to it, if you haven’t worked out in five years calling yourself “athletic” is probably a stretch. My point is:
No one wants to date a liar.
2. Your conversation sucked
Maybe you were too loud, too aggressive, utterly boring, or kept speaking over your date. Whatever the reason, your conversations sucked. Make sure the conversation is a bit of give and take with ample time for responses. Don’t speak over them, don’t interrupt, and don’t try to finish their sentences. Use the F.O.R.D. (Family, Occupation, Recreation, Dreams) technique if you run low on small talk, avoid making jokes about rape, cancer, death, AIDS, abortion, race, religion, politics, and any other topic that might make people uncomfortable.
3. You weren’t paying attention to them
You can pick the greatest date spots in the world but if you don’t put down your damned phone it’s completely wasted. No one wants to be on a date with someone who is also on a date with their phone. Or worse, you’re flirting with everyone within speaking distance. Put your phone away, keep your chatting with strangers to a minimum, and pay attention to your date.
4. You came on too strong
You cannot plan your second date thirty minutes into the first date. Coming off as too desperate, too into them, or too easy just gives off the wrong vibe. There is nothing wrong with love at first sight, or thinking that someone is perfect for you, but you don’t need to tell them. The might be the one, but until they feel the same way, you’ll just come off too strong.
5. You just didn’t click
It could be all of the reasons above, or it could come down to not having chemistry. Chemistry is one of those things that’s incredibly hard to create. If you did everything on your date the right way and still couldn’t land date number two, chances are that you didn’t have chemistry. The only way to fix this issue is…meet new people. Cut your losses and meet someone new.
If you’re being honest about who you are, work on having great conversations, focus on your dates, and don’t come on too strong you’re bound to find someone who clicks with you. Eventually.
Good Luck Out There.