Why Do Guys Do This?

The most frequent advice I give in person is often an answer to the age old question: Why do Guys do this? Sure it’s a variation on a theme but really, most women want to know why guys are the way they are. I can’t speak for all men

1. Why do guys drop off the face of the planet after a few good dates?

Many people are dating multiple people at a time and you might just have been downgraded from being a priority.  Or, maybe what you thought were good dates weren’t necessarily good dates to him. Basically, there isn’t a way to tell the exact reason, just keep in mind that he’s lost interest and it doesn’t really matter why.

2. Why do older guys like younger girls?

If a man indicates a preference for younger women, he wants to date women who are on a timeframe that is different from the women in his age group. Younger women may want the same things eventually, but a 21 year old woman is on a different timeframe when it comes to marriage, kids, settling down, moving to the suburbs, or whatever her goals in life are than say, a 31 year old woman.

3. Why does a guy {get my number, email, wink at me, swipe right, rate me highly} and never reach out after?

It could be a number of reasons but here are the most common ones:

  1. He lost interest or simply changed his mind
  2. He has too many dating options
  3. He’s recently committed to someone else

Chances are that more often than not, the answer is number 1. Whatever the reason, don’t dwell on it.

4. Why are nice guys afraid to approach me? Why do assholes always approach me?

It comes down to a sad but basic truth, guys who you’d consider an asshole are usually more confident than “nice guys”. I’m not saying that being confident means you need to be an asshole, but if you’re an asshole, you’re probably pretty confident. If a nice guy sees you at a bar and is interested, he’ll convince himself that you’re waiting for a date, or a friend, or just want to be left alone. An asshole simply doesn’t care and will approach you. When you look at pick up artist techniques, a lot of the techniques boil down to this simple point “Do what you want and deal with the cconsequences”. With that sort of attitude, you can approach anyone, which is why assholes keep hitting on you instead of the nice guys.

5. Why do guys treat me like I’m good enough to screw, but not good enough to date?

Because guys are assholes? I’m only half kidding here but as a guy who has done this, I would I say I was a 100% an asshole.  The reason could be commitment issues, or just wanting to get all the benefits of a relationship without any of the work, but honestly, does the reason really matter? Just assume a guy isn’t the one for you if he’s down to bone, but not down to take you on a date.

Good Luck Out There.

 photo credit: Brandon Warren

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