There really are only 2 ways to be in the friend-zone you can either
a) decide that being friends with someone you’re attracted to is somehow a bad thing and declare that you’ve been friend-zoned
b) you’re friends with someone you’re attracted to and you feel that your friendship crosses into a gray area between friendship and dating without any of the dating benefits.So instead of romance, affection, or make-outs, you’re the friend who goes on non-romantic “dates”, you’re the one who gets asked to pick them up from the airport, feels taken advantage of, and so on.
Now you’re asking How do you go about not only getting out of the Friend-zone but also making sure you never get into the Friend-zone?
Just follow these 3-Steps
1) Ask Them Out
Just because you’re attracted to someone doesn’t mean that they know you’re attracted to them. Unless you’ve asked someone out, how do you know they aren’t into you?
Don’t let your fear of rejection hold you back.
The first step is always to make your intentions clear. If they reject you or you’ve already been rejected, move on to step 2!
2) Learn how to say NO
I want to be clear; the Friend-zone only exists if you let it exist. If you say “No, I refuse to be in the friend-zone” you’re well on your way to never being in the friend-zone.
How do you say NO to the friend-zone? For one, you need to realize that you can’t always get what you want (cue Mick Jagger). But seriously, there is a ton of advice out there that “Guarantees” that you can get any guy/girl you want and I’m here to tell you that’s not true.
You CANNOT get any guy or girl you want 100% of the time. Anyone telling you this is probably trying to sell you their “method”. It’s Snake Oil.
The only thing that can be guaranteed is how you decide to deal with rejections. If you say take it in stride and don’t declare that you’re in the Friend-zone well congrats, you just mastered step 2! Of course, things get a little muddied if you’re dealing with people who try to lead you on. This leads you to step #3…
3) Know when to Move On
There is a big difference between a friend who isn’t attracted to you and treats you like a friend, and a friend who tries to use you by taking advantage of your attraction to them. I can’t judge each and every single situation out there, so this last part is on you (and a little less simple than I made it sound).
Here’s the first part of Step #3. The next time your potential Friend-zoner asks for a favor ask yourself these questions:
- Would I do this for someone I wasn’t attracted to?
- Would this person do the same thing for me?
- Am I being taken advantage of?
Yes, Yes, and No means that’s probably actually your friend. No, No, and Yes means it’s probably time to move on this person is either trying to take advantage of you or you THINK they are. That last part is important. Whether you’re right or wrong doesn’t matter. That fact that you even think it’s the case means it’s time to move on.
Another simple test. If you feel like this person is leading you on, you do these two things:
- Determine if they’ve ever actually tried to lead you on. This one is tough because some people have REALLY overactive imaginations. Put simply, have they ever explicitly said something along the lines of “Well if you do these things, you might have a chance”
- When you ask them if you’ve got a chance and they don’t give a yes or no answer.
You know the drill by now. If this person has said anything that sounds like they were leading you on, move on. If ask them if you have a shot and they sound like they’re leading you on, move on.
If you approach every potential “friend-zone” situation like this, well then you’re well on your way to Friend-Zone Proofing your love life.
Remember, nothing you do will ever prevent you from being rejected, but how you choose to deal with rejection, and the people who try to lead you on, are entirely up to YOU.
Good Luck Out There.