No matter how much advice I give you on your dating profile, I’ll never know EXACTLY what’s on your profile (more on that later).
If you’re wondering why you’re not getting messages or responses it might be because your profile sucks.
But how can you be sure, besides asking someone directly?
Simple: The OkCupid Drinking Game
It’s designed for straight men looking at a straight woman’s profile (so says the author) but don’t worry, my way of playing is gender neutral.
Using the game to figure out if your profile sucks is simple. Instead of checking out other people’s profiles and taking drinks, review your own. Co-opt specific references to suit your needs (her can be him, or they, Berkeley can be Brooklyn, or Boston, etc,)
To play along, I’ll go through my own profile. Ok Here goes:
I pass the username test! You can set aside my first drink for later thank you very much.
The fact that I put “Avid Reader” as a standalone sentence? Not a good sign. A well, a drink for me. I don’t mention being particularly passionate (thank god) but I live in Brooklyn which I’ll just assume is a close equivalent to Berkeley. Second Drink.
Total Score – 2 drinks
On to Slide 2:
What I’m Doing with my Life
Nature? Child please, I am from the city. I only mention the fact that I have a blog (but don’t say what it’s about) and the field my day job is in. No drinks here.
I’m Really Good At
Mentioning that I know the perfect bar to go to is borderline but lets be honest, if I’m at a bar on a date I’ll probably convince myself its a perfect bar. Another drink for me.
Total Score – 3 drinks
On to Slide 3:
The First things people notice about me
No questions! No mention of smile or eyes or laugh! I specfically mention my resemblance to certain celebrities based on random feedback from people. Suck it, OKC drinking game!
Favorite Books, Movies, TV shows, Food
Well I don’t mention a specific food, I say that I love to cook and then specifically mention a dish I make that “tastes like orgasms feel”. That my friends is a line that gets me a lot of messages. No drink for me there. But, a drink for mentioning Game of Thrones. Ah well, guess I’ll have another.
Total Score – 4 drinks
On to Slide 4:
iphones, condiments and alliteration do not make an appearance on my list. I do mention family and friends which is you know, what most people list. No DRINKS!
The Most Private Thing I’m Willing to Admit
Actually admitted something not everyone knows about me. Boom, no drink this round.
Total Score – 4 drinks
On to the Final Slide.
You Should Message me if
Well would you look at that, I tell people specifically not to message me. No Drink for me
So how’d you do? On a scale of 1 to David Hasselhoff eating a cheeseburger on the floor?
If you’re thinking “There is no way I can finish all these drinks” well then congrats, your profile sucks. But that’s ok.
I’m here to help
Check out all my posts on Dating Profiles HERE
If you’d like to submit your profile for a private review, send me your name, email address, and profile link HERE
Don’t worry: It’s anonymous, won’t cost you a thing, and you wont get put on a mailing list. There is no catch.
On a side note, after reviewing my profile and figuring out where I was supposed to take a drink, I realized that those same areas have never once sparked a conversation on OkCupid.
Something to think about.
Good Luck out there