5 Online Dating Tips To Help You Get Better Messages

You can pour tons of time and energy into your online dating profile but if you’re putting in the wrong things, chances are that you’ll be getting terrible messages. You might think that after taking the time to fill out your profile, upload pictures, and generally put in a little effort to answer match questions you’ve done all you can do but you’re wrong.

1. Never Repeat Yourself

On every dating profile your age, height, religion, etc. is listed so that people can easily determine all of this simply by reading. Why would you then open with any of this information at any point in your profile? Think of your dating profile as both a cover letter and a resume for your dating life. In it, you list the important details pretty early on so that you can go over what makes you uniquely qualified for a position. Listing your age twice makes people skim your profile. If people skim your profile, they’re more likely to send you a generic message asking what you do for a living, or where you’re from.

2. Never simplify yourself

Continuing the dating-profile-as-resume theme, when you’re applying for a job you have to find the right balance between “I’m so Rad, hire me bro!” and “I think I might be ok at this job if I keep my nose to the grindstone”.  It’s a fine line but you definitely don’t want to undersell yourself. People generally tend to want to avoid being obnoxious and that tends to make them be a bit too humble. How many profiles have you come across that open with someone saying that they’re average? Even a so called “average” person has unique life experiences. Online dating is about selling yourself and I don’t know about you but if I went to buy a product and the word AVERAGE was written on it, I’d skip buying it

3. Never self-aggrandize

The flipside of trying to avoid sounding like a lump on a log is trying to sound like the most interesting thing in the world. You’ve probably seen the profiles that lead with some grand declaration of that person’s unique snowflake-ness. These people believe they are one of a kind, some form of royalty, or some other descriptor that implies that they’re God’s gift to the works. Pro Tip: you aren’t. You may be unique and amazing and dreamy but that doesn’t mean crap if you keep bragging about it. Skirt the line between humble and Kanye. Show people why you’re amazing, don’t just say you’re amazing.

4. Don’t talk about Sex, baby

I am 100% for a healthy amount of discussion and awareness around sex but I don’t think you need to put your sexuality in the forefront on your dating profile. You get two types of messages based on your profile: Generic messages or messages that reference your page content. Remember that your profile is a blind introduction to a group of strangers so if you want to minimize the messages that are about sex, maybe don’t mention sex in your profile. That can come later.

5. Always be opening

When you’re writing your dating profile you have to remember that you’re not trying to close a sale, you’re trying to open up a conversation. The key here is to have several points of conversation on your profile. My profile has about at least 1 conversation opener in each part of my profile. That means that if you read through my profile, you’ve got at least 8 things to start a conversation with me about besides my pictures.

Follow these 5 Tips and I GUARANTEE you’ll be getting better messages in no time

Good Luck out there

8 thoughts on “5 Online Dating Tips To Help You Get Better Messages

  1. Pingback: The Ten Commandments of Online Dating | Tao of Indifference

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