What you can learn from bad online dating profiles

I bet you read my online dating profile tips and thought: I think I have it covered but maybe not. Maybe I’m taking the advice too literally or the advice was too vague.

I scoured OkCupid finding examples of ways to make a bad online dating profile to learn from other peoples mistakes:

Just a disclaimer, these people aren’t bad people and me screen-capping their profiles isn’t an indictment of them. Rather, I’m using parts of their profiles to show you what not to do. If you’re already guilty of any of these, it’s ok.  Just make the appropriate changes ASAP. 

You know what I love? Exasperated sighs. You know what I hate? Laughter


Three different profiles (oh and trust me, there are tons) all saying how much they love to laugh.

Here’s an inside scoop on dating: Everyone who dates loves to laugh.

Unless you follow that up with a line about how you’re super into the NYC comedy scene it’s just a pointless throw-away line. Don’t use throwaways in your profile.

Everything in your profile should be able to spark a conversation.

Three Years in New York? That’s awesome, where are you from originally?

I’ve never been to Israel, how does dating compare here?

Try to avoid generalities. If you like to laugh and have fun that’s ok, but what makes you laugh and have fun. Saying you like Louis CK and rock-climbing or running half-marathons

Want to learn more, message me now

Sparks CuriositypngThat is someone’s profile in it’s entirety. My question is this, what would I message this person to start a conversation. Their job (snooze), their family and friends (seems a little weird to ask a stranger about their family and friends right?) or their paintings. That’s it. Again, avoid generalities but also avoid unnecessarily short profiles. Try to add in way more conversation starters. If she’d only answered the questions below she’d probably get more interesting messages:

What artists are you influenced by?

What drove your interest in painting?

Does your family have a history of creativity?

Say what you mean, mean what you say…Just don’t put it on your profile

Serious Relationship

If you’re not a user of Okcupid you might not be familiar with this but the section titled “What I’m Looking for” has an option to select Long-Term Dating. If you don’t want to play games and want something serious, why does your profile say that you want new friends? Ok, lets assume this person skipped that portion of their profile in error.

Do you really think that telling people what you want on your profile changes the sort of attention you get?

In all honesty it does not. Players are going to be players no matter what you say. If a guy only wants one night stand, they’ll say anything to get it. How many times have you described a player as Honest?’

I’m not picky but….

A simple list

Just to be clear, your “you should message me if”  section shouldn’t read like a D&D character sheet. What’s this imaginary guys AGI like? This sort of overly descriptive “you should message me if” is either:

A description of an ex or…

A description of some fantasy guy who will never, ever exist

It’s ok to have a type of guy you’re attracted to but c’mon. How many horse racing enthusiasts who have contributed to NPR who also have knuckle tattoos are there? You might as well say:

“You should message me only if you live in Williamsburg and are specifically a pretentious hipster”

Oh and pro-tip: It’s never a good idea to decry poor grammar or sentence structure on your profile, especially when you can’t form proper sentences.

Alright there you have it, I hope you learned from the mistakes of others and get a TON of messages from your new, revamped profile.

If you take nothing else from this post, please, for the love of everything, don’t tell me how much you love to laugh.

Good Luck out there

One thought on “What you can learn from bad online dating profiles

  1. Pingback: Does my Profile Suck? | Tao of Indifference

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