Do you love dating? I do but I’m guessing you knew that considering I write a blog that mostly deals with dating. When I say I love dating, believe that I mean that I love dating. Whether I’m going out for drinks that turns into a weekend spent in bed with someone, or being stood up at a bar, I love the dating process. People say that they love being single and I do, I also love being in a relationship. I love dating for what it can be: An excuse to try new things. I read the 7 Reasons Why Dating Is The Absolute Worst on Thought Catalog and it made me realize that I love dating. Lets see if we can change 7 reasons to hate dating into 7 reasons to love dating
1. It feels so clinical
Okay lets be real here, online dating is so enjoyable because of it’s convenience. But, is that a bad thing? Sure, it can seem formulaic but that’s only if you let it become formulaic. Maybe you’re only searching for a specific type of look or person. Maybe they all live in the same neighborhoods, or maybe you only hang out in the same neighborhoods. You can change this. If all your dates usually are at bars in the east village maybe go to a movie on the Upper West Side with whiskey in your soda. Dating is only clinical if you make it clinical so mix it up a bit. Make your date into whatever you want it to be. Bar Crawl, People watching, shots at 2 pm on Sunday. The world is your dating oyster. Hell, maybe eat oysters on your date. They’re delicious.
2. It’s depressing
Rejection can be depressing. Being stood up is depressing sure. But, isn’t your own company kind of great. If you don’t think so, think again. If you don’t think so, why would anyone else agree? Just because someone is single doesn’t inherently mean that they should be depressed. Being alone is awesome. If you don’t know how to be alone, check this out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs
3. You get insulted
People insult you all the time. Unless you live in a Buddhist monastery someone insulted you today whether under their birth or to your face. I’m sure someone insulted me today while I was on the subway and chances are, you’ve been insulted today. So what? Why does the opinion of a stranger matter to you. I’m not saying that it’s ok to be insulted but it’s a part of life. If you get insulted to your face on a date consider it a blessing. That person just saved you a ton of time by eliminating the option for another date. Walk out of the date ASAP
4. It’s expensive
Alright lets be honest here, dating IS expensive. If you let it be expensive that is. I’ve written about Cheap Dates and Paying for Dates before so you know it doesn’t have to be that expensive. It takes a lot more work to plan a cheap date but trust me, saving yourself 100 dollars is well worth the legwork to find a gallery opening to drink for free.
5. It’s exhausting Let me quote the article here: “Surviving bad dates sometimes feels like you’re performing in the Olympics. Like, if you’re seeing someone who is socially-awkward and you have to do all of the heavy lifting in the conversation? Terrible! You deserve a medal for having to endure that shit. They need to pay you once the date is over” Ok first off, if a date sucks, leave that date. If you feel like you’re doing someone a favor by being on a date with them, leave the date. Every second you are on a date you are choosing to be there, even if your choice is only through inaction Dating isn’t about being nice or polite, dating is about meeting someone you click with. If after two drinks you’d rather be somewhere else, be somewhere else. You might think it’s rude but honestly, wasting someone’s time is rude. Wasting your own time is silly. If dating is exhausting maybe you need to reevaluate who you go on dates with. I can tell you that in the last year I have not gone on a terrible date. I’m not saying that I go on AMAZING dates but at the very least I have interesting conversations. If I meet someone and I’m not feeling it, I cut the date short. Simple as that.
6. You feel violently insecure I don’t know if anyone told you this lately but, your self esteem is your own. If dating makes you question your self worth, maybe you shouldn’t be dating? If you truly know yourself as a person, dating won’t shatter you, it will just allow you to open yourself to new people.
7. It’s alienating Dating can be alienating but you know what, that’s not so bad. You wont connect with every person you go on a date with and that is okay. You should be more concerned with your connection to your loved ones, not strangers. You will connect with someone eventually but even then it’s not guaranteed that it will last. Don’t let that stress you out though. Again, it’s ok to be alone. The reason you’re single isn’t because of how different you are, it’s because you choose to be single. There are people out there that would kill to be in a relationship with you. Maybe you just haven’t met them, wouldn’t want to date them, broken up with them already, or currently hate them. Regardless, someone wants you out there because you’re probably awesome. and finally…a PRO TIP Treat every potential date as a chance to experience a new place. You just read about that new bar that does molecular mixology and you’re dying to check it out? Cool, take a date. What about that new Mexican/Japanese fusion place that has wagyu beef tacos? Take a date. Make a list of all the places you want to experience in your town/city and go there on dates. If your date sucks, you went to a cool place and should have no regrets. Good Luck out there