People are always asking me about modern courtship, romance, online dating (obviously) and what the hell men worry about. Needless to say, I’ve got opinions on all these things. So without further ado, a little bit of insight on online dating, modern relationships, and everything else:
The End of Courtship and Romance
Ok so I think that the end of romance/courtship/etc. is on a lot of people’s minds but really doesn’t it always “end”?
When was the last time you were chaperoned while on a date? How about all those times you indicated your interest or disinterest in someone by the gestures you made with your fan?
The end of romance in the way that our parents courted each other is a real thing but romance and courtship never dies. Sure, a guy is more likely to kiss you on a first date and text you instead of walking you home and calling the next day but that just means we’re in a new era of courtship.
Courtship and Social Media
I think that we court differently because of the immediacy that social media gives us. Gestures can be just as big, but they don’t take as much effort. If I change my status as to “In a relationship with X” on Facebook, it didn’t take a lot of effort but now EVERYONE I know on Facebook knows I’m with you.
Even random strangers can see that we’re a couple.
Online Dating: Pros
When it comes to actually meeting that special someone, I’m a big fan of online dating. The Pros are a lot like shopping online: convenient, simple and easy. You get a pretty good idea of what you’re getting when you reach out to people and it really saves you from having to do a lot of the first date small talk.
Online Dating: Cons
The downside is that because it’s so convenient, a lot of people put minimal effort into it. One thing is, because all the mundane questions have already been answered, a lot of people find it difficult to communicate with their dates in person. We’re all used to meeting people organically and because we cut out 50% of the conversation before we meet it opens up the possibility that we’ll get stuck talking about Youtube videos and the latest Katy Perry song.
With all this immediacy comes the rise of Sexting. Personally I’m all for it but people should really think before they text. Everything you do with any communication device can be tracked, saved, and recorded. Sending naughty pictures is cool but be aware that the possibility exists, however slim it may be, that whatever you sent will be seen by more than one person. I’ve definitely been on the receiving end of naked pics but the most I’ll sext is dirty talk. Women shouldn’t feel obligated to send anything that is uncomfortable even if we’re trending toward sexting becoming more prevalent and socially acceptable.
Single, Successful ladies and Dating down
Numbers never lie and the truth is there are more women going to college now then there are men. That’s just at the undergraduate level. The simple truth is that yes, women are getting paid more money now than at any point historically and they’re doing it by getting more education. Anecdotally, I often find myself on dates with women with at least a Masters degree who are at least 2 to 3 years older than me and it might have to do with the fact that yes, they need to “date down” to find a guy who is even remotely as successful as them. Based on everything I’ve read, this isn’t a trend and will probably become the norm.
Marriage: Staying Single longer
I think that more and more we’ll see people reject the ideas of traditional marriage and parenting, the way our parents did. Marriages that end in divorce is at an all time high and more and more of us are products of divorce. That said, the best recent parent I can think of, an ex girlfriend of mine, has decided to never marry but instead raise her child with her boyfriend. I’m a big fan of people sticking together and raising a family, even if it is non-traditional. That might be due to the fact that I live in a city with a much older average age of marriage. With that said, I think marriage as an institution and as a commitment is pretty cool
What do men worry about?
Men never worry obviously. We’re just emotionless sex seekers, hadn’t you heard? Seriously though, we worry about a lot of the same things you do.
Did she think what I said was weird?
Am I contacting her too much? Too little?
Is she actually into me or just leading me on?
Just keep in mind that guys only have the same worries as you when they’re into you. Guys who aren’t into you could careless, hence why they seem so cool and detached.
Personally, I always worry about how a first date ended. If we didn’t kiss was she into me? Did I just miss my shot by not kissing her? Did this first date that ended in sex mean she was into me or is this a one time thing?
Some guys worry about showing affection and being rejected or showing affection and dealing with a clinger. Either way, somewhere out in the world, there is a woman worrying about the same thing
So there you have it.
If you’ve got more burning question email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Good luck out there