Ladies, Don’t Hesistate To Date Online

Alright ladies, this one is for you.

I hear from a lot of women about why they’re hesitant or wont date online. The thing is, you  should be dating online purely from a numbers standpoint. I do understand your hesitance and sure, there are some valid points against online dating but in the end, is online dating that different from dating in real life?

Let’s go through some of the top reasons people  give as to why they don’t date online :

  1. 1/3 of the people who date online lie on their profile
  2. Online dating isn’t safe
  3. I’ve tried online dating and I never meet anyone who I think is my type

Lets start with the big one first.

Yes, people do lie on their profiles but you know what, People Lie.

If you meet a guy in person he can’t lie about his height but he can lie about marital status, education, age, and income just as easily even if you do meet in person.

As far as I can tell there have been no studies that show that Online Dating is any more dangerous than dating in real life. Sure, the stories you hear stand out, but if you consider how many people date online versus crimes linked to online dating the numbers are very low.

Honestly, it’s as hard to meet people who are your type in general and online dating isn’t some separate world where things are immediately easy.

Finding the one for you is hard ANYWHERE.

Don’t just assume that because the guy you’re messaging really loves Adele that he’s your soul-mate. Don’t be stupid. Everyone loves Adele, she’s amazing.

Now that we’ve got the big issues out of the way and you’re totally considering trying online dating lets get down to how to do it well.

Step one is of course Filling out your profile which I’ve detailed before. The thing you need to remember is that the things you put on your profile are what you will get messages about (except for the guys that just write “hey”, “sup” “You hot”, etc.). If your profile is negative what do you think you’re messages will be like. Just be yourself, be positive, fill in your actual profile and you’re already doing better than most people on dating websites.

Next step is Uploading profile pictures which I’ve talked about before. Fair warning, you will get messaged about your pictures and this ranges from innocent (You’re really pretty also I like that you’ve read Dostoyevsky) to really inappropriate (You’re really pretty also do you take it in the boot). Consider this an easy way to weed out the weirdos.

Use Data to your Advantage. My understanding is that most dating websites, paid or unpaid, have a system for matching you based on the data you provide. On Okcupid you answer questions and assign value to your potential matches responses. In addition, you can see their response if they’ve answered publicly. This really helps filter out people. In my case, I don’t date girls who are against interracial dating. Maybe you don’t date guys who smoke weed or hate cats. The only way to filter those guys out is by answering match questions.

If you’ve only answered 20 questions and 10 of those were not actually important to you, you’re limiting the sampling of data that the site gets and thus you’re lowering your odds of meeting someone who really is your type. If you answer 100 questions and your potential match has answered 100 questions you’re really increasing the odds that this guy really does have the same wants, needs, goals, and lifestyle that matches up with you.  Answer 1000 and I promise you that at the very least you’ll always go on average dates.

Finally, Put in Effort. Seriously. Go through your messages for guys who actually tried and see if you might be into them. You don’t have to reply to everyone and don’t feel bad if you don’t, we’re used to it. Definitely don’t send rejection messages since they’re a waste of time. BUT, you need to put some work into it. 

Prince/Princess Charming isn’t going to fall in your lap.

As to what site you should use, honestly, go with what feels good. I’m a big fan and advocate of OkCupid but I know that a lot of women prefer the dating sites that have a membership fee because, as the adage says, “You get what you pay for“.

Online dating is just like dating in real life. Approach it the same way, put some effort in, don’t get discouraged by random misogynist dudes being vulgar (That happens in real life too!) and most of all, be safe and have fun.

Good luck out there.

2 thoughts on “Ladies, Don’t Hesistate To Date Online

  1. Pingback: Does my Profile Suck? | Tao of Indifference

  2. Pingback: Should I try online dating? | Tao of Indifference

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